I know, it's been ages, years even. Time to break the silence. Maybe we should start over again.
Hi, my name is April and I suffer from winter depression. I hate the way it feels, the way it twists my emotions into a cold numbing mess. You see, I'm a bit of a control freak. (More on that another time.) If I can't control my surroundings, I still feel the need to control my emotions. Call it Spock's Dilema, if you will. A Human mother, a Vulcan father, Spock often wrestled with the puzzle of logic versus emotion. It's not that I want to be logical all the time. Emotions are a perfectly good and healthy thing. It's finding a balance. Nope, if I'm honest, that's not it. It's being in control of both that I wrestle with. After all, having it all together is what being humans all about, right? Haha. Can you hear the sarcasm dripping?
But, back to the winter depression. Some of you have heard this story before. A few winters back, I was sitting at my computer sorting through my digital photos when I stumbled across the flower macros I'd taken the previous summer. The colors, the textures, the light, they all put a smile on my face. Next I picked up my Bible for a little QT with the Creator of all those beautiful blooms. The two activities combined, put me in such a good mood, I opened my photo editing program, pasted a verse I'd just read onto one of the flower pics and saved the image to my desktop. Staring at the image, I thought,"Mom would like this." So I emailed her a copy. She called me shortly afterward and said, "April, you've got to share this." And just like that, Desktop Blooms was born.
Now each Monday during the winter months, I send out a new image with a scripture or a prayer. The image above was sent out this morning. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the mailing list.
So, is that the end of my winter blues? No. It's a work in progress. But by sharing my story and not being afraid to show my scars, I'm learning to enjoy the journey.
