Solitude

I'm enjoying a bit of solitude this morning.  Sometimes it's nice just to breath in the silence.

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self.”  - Henri Nouwen from "The Way of The Heart"

Fresh Fiction in Progress

I'm tinkering with a new story idea.  One of the main characters figures out that the "music" she's been hearing since her early childhood is simply Creation's Song.  While questioning why this revelation took so long, she writes a poem in her notebook.  I don't think she'd mind if I share it. *wink*

Creation’s Song                                                                    
                                                                    
Can you hear it?
The ancient hum of the old forest,
the sway of the harvest in the fields,
the gentle babble of the stream over smooth stones,
the choreography of fireflies on a summer night.

Can you hear it?
The rumble of the storm in the distance,
the quiet dance of falling snow,
the rhythm of ocean waves crescendo on the shore,
the symphony of the stars.

Creation sings!
Glory to God,
a vibrant expression of praise.

Creation sings!
Praise to the Lord,
a melody of joy rising within.

Creation sings!
A gracious glimpse of His glory,
for those who would stop and listen.

Shhhhh.
Can you hear it?




Psalm 96:11-13 "Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it.  Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.  Let all creation rejoice before the LORD..."

Author Unknown

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

"The Prayer of Sir Francis Drake" - 1577??  I have yet to find a reliable source to confirm this.  Can you?

I Love Books

(Because a typical book list just won’t cut it, here’s a random book you can find on my bookshelf.)

Dune by Frank Herbert

I love this piece of classic science-fiction.  The desert planet Arrakis, aka Dune, is the only planet where Spice can be found.  More valuable than gold, Spice is a mind-altering substance that facilitates interplanetary travel, among other things.  Think peyote, only way cooler.   As such, whoever controls Dune controls the universe. (Insert music for dramatic effect here.)

There are two royal families constantly fighting for control of the planet: House Atreides and House Harkonnen. Paul Atreides plays the young heir usurped by the Harkonnen who forcefully take over Arrakis causing Paul and his mother, the Lady Jessica, to run hiding in the desert. Unknown to him, Paul is destined to become the planet's Messiah, a long-prophesied savior who will help the native people of Arrakis reclaim their planet.

Also woven into the story are a “religious” group called The Bene Gesserit, a sisterhood whose members train their bodies and minds through years of physical and mental conditioning in order to achieve superhuman abilities which they use for political posturing, among other things.  The empath in me (more on that another time) loved these characters and the idea that your mind is capable of much when properly focused.  My favorite quote from the book is “the litany against fear” used by the Bene Gesserit to focus their minds and calm themselves in the mist of chaos and/or impending danger.

“I must not fear.  Fear is the mind-killer.  Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.  I will face my fear.  I will permit it to pass over me and through me.  And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.  Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”

It reminds me of 2 Timothy 1:7.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

What can I say?  The control freak in me is attracted to the idea of power.  Keeping in mind, however, that with great power, comes great responsibility.  Quoting Spiderman?  Really, April?  Nope.  Voltaire said it first, circa 1832, proving once again that there is nothing new under the sun.

Old Poetry

I was digging through my computer archives when I ran across this old poem.  It's funny how our lives go through seasons.  Healing is a work in progress. 


"Two Halves"
~ by April Milam

Two halves resided
In the heart of one.
One half was free
The other was numb.

I once had a heart
that had two halves. 
One half I gave to God,
saying, "Take me as I am. 
Well, not really all,
just this part of me,
the half I'm willing
to let you see."

Either selfishness
or lack of trust
had me hiding the other half
in a box.
I locked it up tight
wrapped it in chains
determined that no one would see
the ugliness I hid in my heart
and I threw away the key.

But the numbness, you see
would not be contained
by the box and all of its chains.
Slowly it spread
to both halves of my heart
until all I had left was my pain.

That terrible ache
would wake me at night
with nightmares of heavy stones
that pinned me down
as I lost my breath
fearful at hearing
my own cracking bones.

With tears in my eyes
I prayed, "Dear Lord,
I come to you, just as I am.
Take the good.  Take the ugly.
Take all of my heart.
Lord, please make me whole again."

And He threw off the chains
and He unlocked the box
exposing darkness to light.
And the weight that was crushing me
disappeared
as the Son chased away night.

He took both pieces
of my broken heart.
He made it whole and complete.
And with mended heart
I stood by His side
and I knew
I was finally free.