Friday, May 11, 2012

How May I Help You?


I’m currently reading The 77 Habits of Highly Ineffective Christians, by Chris Fabry. I was cruising along, skimming pages, and having a good laugh here and there when I came across Habit #50, “Have All the Answers.” And suddenly the book wasn’t so funny anymore. Here’s the advice the author has to give to the ineffective Christian. 
No matter what kind of life you lead, you will no doubt come in contact with people who are experiencing troubles and trails. And when people question their faith, it is imperative that you have all the answers.” 
I do not mean that you should understand the biblical view of suffering. I do not mean that you should discern the bedrock theological questions of sincere people. That would be dangerous. I mean you should cultivate an attitude that you have life figured out.”  
Never just sit and mourn with a friend; say something. Never identify with someone who is struggling. Never simply weep and admit you have the same feelings. Give verses, even out of context if you have to. Give short pithy sayings like ‘This too shall pass’. If you can quickly silence a question with a sentence, you have done a great thing, particularly if you can make it rhyme.” 
You must also take on yourself the weight of the person’s problems and believe if you don’t have the answers he or she will fall away. If you don’t fix the person right then and there, he or she will be lost forever. In this you promote the idea that God is not sovereign, you are. This is why you must act as if you have all the answers.” 
The librarian in me wants to find all the answers, know all the answers, and be able to pass them out at a moments notice, served with a side dish of wit. I feel inadequate when I don’t have the answer. It’s as if I need the answers in order for all to be well in my own personal universe.  And the desire to share those answers is a byproduct of customer service.  If you can’t give people excellent customer service, then you’re not doing your job. 
The problem comes when this attitude flows outside of my job and into my Christianity.  After all, isn’t it more satisfying to make someone happy by giving them the all answers, then to let them lean on God, and simply be there with them as they struggle? 
"But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect." - 1 Peter 3:15
"But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9
If others don't see our weaknesses, or if we don't boast in them, then how will Christ be magnified? We should be able to tell others if or when we did and still do struggle with something, but that it was in that weakness that Jesus changed us. It's His power. 
 Sometimes the smartest thing you will ever do is shut your big mouth.  Silence always speaks the loudest in any circumstance. I am always trying to fix things or create solutions to problems.  I know that when I talk with my husband about a problem  I'm dealing with, I'm not telling him because I want answers.  I'm really just looking for an ear, a shoulder, and a hug.  So why it that so hard to give others?
 

"A wise old owl sat in an oak, the more he saw, the less he spoke.  The less he spoke, the more he learned. Why can't we all be like that old bird?"                   ~ author unknown
 

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